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stuff [Apr. 18th, 2005|03:41 pm]
charliesachs

Blonde Breathalizer Test

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"

"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Uh... yes." replied the cop.

"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."

"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"

 

 

Theses are some of my nearest and dearest friends.They are very talented.

No CaptionWolf man No CaptionGraham Coxon

Thats what they do in their spear time.(above)

 

more jokes

 

Bad Taste

A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired.

"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.

"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"

"Yeah, my first blowjob," the man answered.

"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."

"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

 

 

Headache

A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies. "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and...." He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear". "Yes! Exactly! How did you know?" "Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes". Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you feel?" "Doc, I'm a new man! I feel great! I haven't had a headache since I started this treatment! I can't thank you enough. And, by the way, you have a lovely home."

 

 

 

 

 

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sunday morning (not the song) [Apr. 18th, 2005|12:04 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |groggygroggy]
[music |just the singing in my head]

not only do i feel like death i look like death hit with a bat 458500 times then stamped on and my hair looks grey.by the way that isnt me below but a very good example.

i said to myself it was going to be a chilled weekend...

mental note: Never listen to myself again...

friday:went to fabriiiic (full of all them party people folk like)for the first time to see art brut and the beautiful blackwire avec sarah/flo/tom/kim and bumped into daisy who stumbles in wrecked after both bands played, kim me and tom left and got followed by some kling on tom stalkers..so we made a run for it and stayed at toms...
he woke us up early the fucker.

 

BLACKWIRE

     

ART BRUT

Art BrutFull-size image

sat...slept and watched a repeat of desperate house wifes got dressed..and met some people at steeles then garlic and shots and then a pub in tott court road ..we stumbled into frog...got shit faced and i said something really stupid to russel from bloc party (cant remember what) SLAPS FACE..

 RUSSEL BLOCK PARTY

 

Then got kicked out because kim fell over.. (well pissed off there was a good hour left) somehow got home..dont really remember how..all i remember is that i was shit scared i couldnt see anything nor could kim...and i thought i would be run over.oh and nessa had a pretty dress on.

sunday:woke up felt worse than i do today..i need somme sleep.

 

XX

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puzzled [Apr. 12th, 2005|01:41 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |quixoticquixotic]
[music |the sound of the type writter]

sflai\sfyhizsduyfusdmvfgqwetieashrtwoiesdi;
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Monday morning [Mar. 21st, 2005|12:16 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |worriedworried]
[music |donovan]

feeling shit...just realised pulp is the hardest material to work with so i now have to figure out what im going for a two day art mock tomorro..

i was thinking of puppet show..hmm

my weekend was shit!!! had no money .on friday i went to a party which i left because it was shit! i did however see the girl from harry potter which was a plus, she looked a bit random i might say.. wearing jean short shorts .

saturday kimberleena and i watched saturday night fever (skint again)

on sunday kim saw a mouse in our house.

im gonna go get some lunch now.

x

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a ring a ding ding [Mar. 16th, 2005|09:39 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |creative]
[music |lets be honest err mcfly (hides)]

tomotto i shall be gracing guy mcnight and the match box de 80 with my presence...its gonna be a corker cant wait.blackwire and that strange fella with the frog glasses's band les incomps shall be playing..not forgetting shockwaves number one fans neils children.
see you all there bring your white loafers and walkie talkies.

x

charlay
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what do you think? [Mar. 14th, 2005|08:26 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |artistic]
[music |THE DOORS]

   Don't these two from almost famous look like ..ALAN AND KIMBERLEENA?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2005|08:01 pm]
charliesachs
[mood |productive]
[music |happy mondays]

            

       

 

 

      

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CHARLAY AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY COUNT DOWN! [Mar. 14th, 2005|12:57 pm]
charliesachs

Countdown to the release of
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
days hours min. sec.
Release Date: July 15th, 2005
Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Tim Burton
Screenwriter: John August (based on the novel by Roald Dahl)
Producers: Brad Grey, Michael Siegel, Richard D. Zanuck
Original music: Danny Elfman
Cinematography: Philippe Rousselot
Production Design: Alex McDowell
Costume Design: Gabriella Pescucci

Verified Cast:
Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka
Freddie Highmore as Charlie Bucket
Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Bucket
David Kelly as Grandpa Joe
Harry Taylor as Mr. Gloop
Noah Taylor
James Fox
Ty Dickson as Oompa Loompa
Missi Pyle as Ms. Beauregard
Christopher Lee as Willy Wonka's Father
Jordan Fry as Mike Teavee
AnnaSophia Robb as Violet Beauregarde
Julia Winter as Veruca Salt
Philip Wiegratz as Augustus Gloop

Burton's next film recently finished filming in London and is currently in post-production. Rather than being a remake of the 1971 Gene Wilder film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Burton's movie will reportedly be a more faithful adaptation of Dahl's novel.
You can visit the official Warner Bros. site here. If you want to read more about the screenwriter of Charlie (as well as Big Fish), John August, I suggest you take a look at his excellent homepage, which has regular updates about the film.
You can also discuss the movie with other Burton fans (and share exclusive scoops on the production) on our Charlie and the Chocolate Factory forum. We will continue to update this page with links to news and articles as we approach the release, so keep checking back

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MY TOP TUNES [Mar. 14th, 2005|12:43 pm]
charliesachs
well im very predictable but anyway...here we go
(btw these ar emy favs at the mo it could very well change)

1.TALKING HEADS-PSYCHO KILLER
2.DEXYS MIGNIGHT RUNNERS-GENO
3.VINCENT VINCENT AND THE VILLIANS-B SIDE BABY
4.PINK GREASE-FEVER
5.CHERUBS-HEY BUNNY
6.DANNY WILLIAMS-MOON RIVER
7.MCFLY-ITS ALL ABOUT YOU (PIPE DOWN)
8.BUDDY HOLLY-OH BOY
9.THE BRAVERY-HONEST MISTAKE
10.KASIER CHEIFS-OH MY GOD!
11.THE CLASH-I FOUGHT THE LAW
12.LOU REED-TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
14.MODERN LOVERS-PABLO PICASSO
15.THE RAPTURE-HOUSE OF JEALOUS LOVERS
16.NEW ORDER-BLUE MONDAY
17.TELEVISION-MARQUEE MOON
18.DEPECHE MODE-ENJOY THE SILENCE
19.BEACH BOYS-DON'T WORRY BABY
20.THE WHO-SUBSTITUTE

THATS IT FOR NOW
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2005|11:52 am]
charliesachs

On friday I met up with somes skint people (vabs/mardou/bridger/berleena/daisyect) at the man in the moon for pre drinks...ba doom doom...then went with my trusty companion ABBY to barfly to see this electro band who were amazing and dresses as sailors ;) please go and see them their awsome.

I could'nt find a sailor picture however you'll just have to go see them www.thechalets.com then went downstairs to boogie to the choons.They played one of my favs (DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS-GENO) I was slightly F****d off they didnt play talking heads.BUT I did see that crazy guy from pink grease with the cool shades who looks like whiskeys cool friend.

 

  He's the one on the far left.

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Saturday morning...ahhh had to meet a mate for her birthday breakfast...had no money so i had to walk 30 minutes and saw the ugly drummer from razorlight on the way and shouted at him..sadly he didnt hear.I felt like shit and almost fainted.I was ill for the rest of the day so ended up watching repeats of comic relief (WAHAY).

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VINCENT VINCENT AND THE VILLIANS....MY NEW FAVOURITE BAND.

DEATH OF THE ERROR CAMPAIGN CLUB NITE...on thursday 17th march at the elbow rooms (islington).

featuring the exceptional...

Ludes
Cazals
Boe Dekka
Vincent Vincent (solo)
Dustins Bar Mitzvah
Good Shoes
plus dj's Ride em and Booze, Dirty Sounds, Vincent Vincent and the Villains, The Pirates (white heat), Pyrrha Girls...

doors 8-2am...
£5 entry...or FREE Entry with an ERROR badge...or e-mail
nadia@youngandlostclub.com for cheap list/ more info...

go see them it will change your life

www.vincentvincentandthevillians.com

 

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